Here I am again with another personal post about blogging. If I’m honest, I go through waves of feeling on top of the world, then when there’s times I feel no one cares.
Sometimes I hate to even say I’m a fashion blogger. I don’t have thousands on thousands of followers, although I am thankful for the followers I do have. But sometimes I feel like I’m just pretending, and by that I mean it sometimes feels like I think I’m a lot cooler than I am and that what I do doesn’t get taken seriously.
The reality is, I am stressed out and frustrated. It has been 3 years of blogging, and don’t get me wrong, I’m so incredibly grateful for the things I’ve been able to do in those years. But, I’m in a major rut. When I first started blogging I would’ve thought I’d be so much further than I am now. The frustrating part is the amount of time and money I put into blogging and I kind of seem to be stuck in the same place. I started blogging for fun and it truly is a hobby and a passion of mine but I’ll be honest that it sucks sometimes and maybe I’m a little jealous of other bloggers. We all get jealous, but it becomes toxic when we let it eat at us and start comparing, which I have done. I stop and think that there’s tons of people that have been in my position and they never gave up and look where they are now! But the journey is the hardest part, and I’ve kind of had to step back and instead of getting jealous get motivated and confident. Even if I have to fake it until I make it.
The hard thing is that nobody really sees the behind the scenes and how much work goes into one post and how disappointing it is when it doesn’t get “that many likes” or any recognition by the brand you tagged. “Am I doing something wrong?” or “Am I not cool enough or are the pictures not good enough to repost?” are things that often go through my head when I have these disappointing feelings.
I feel like it’s hard to say that I’m a fashion blogger when I don’t live the fashion blogger life. I wake up at 6:30 am every weekday and go to my office job until 5 pm, work on blog posts after I get off, Mason and I shoot on Saturdays and then church all day on Sundays. This is my day-to-day life. I don’t really show a whole lot of it, because quite frankly I think it’s boring. I love taking pictures and uploading them on Instagram because for a moment I feel like I’m cool and interesting. Then there comes the disappointment when it doesn’t get as many likes as I would hope. It sounds so selfish and very “first world problems”ish, but that’s the truth and that’s what I beat myself up over daily. Now you probably all think I hate doing this all, which that is totally false. I love connecting with people and I love sharing my creativity and myself, like with this post, with you all.
Maybe It’s not “my time” yet to become a big fashion blogger or maybe this is all a learning lesson to not take things too seriously and just live the best life I can live. I’ll be turning 21 this Saturday, I’m getting married in less than a month, and I have an amazing support system and the love from God that is always there even when I feel like no one else is. I have a whole life a head of me.
I guess it’s just hard not knowing when things will happen and not really having a clear picture of what I’m supposed to be doing. All I can do is take each day as it is and continue what I’m doing with just a little more passion each day. I love watching my style grow and change and I’d love to be able to connect with you guys more! If you have a blog and want to follow each other on social media, link yours below.
“Don’t quit your day dream”- so easy to say but hard to do sometimes, but it’s all about the journey and I love sharing it with you.